Mar. 4th, 2017

pocketseizure: (Teh Bowz)
I've been playing a lot of Mario games while waiting for Breath of the Wild to come out, and fuck me but I'm getting back into the Peach/Bowser ship.

I'm really into the idea of Peach and Bowser carrying on an illicit affair behind closed doors, of course, but I think it would be cool if, instead of being caught up in some sort of epic love story, they're actually kind of bored with each other but too lazy to break off the relationship. It's interesting to imagine that, while Mario is off saving stars or collecting beans or whatever, Peach and Bowser are getting into petty arguments about inane bullshit, like...

- Bowser gives Peach genuinely useful baking advice, and she's furious that he let her think he didn't know anything about cooking
- Bowser confesses a fantasy specific to his (species??), and Peach is frustrated that he told her despite knowing it's something she could never physically do
- Bowser is supposed to win a tennis match so that Peach gets threaded out of the tournament and can sit back and relax, but he loses on purpose to piss her off
- Bowser goads Peach with snide comments during a public event, knowing that she can't retaliate because she has to act like a princess
- Bowser makes an unfavorable comparison between Peach and Zelda, essentially suggesting that Peach is lazy and unromantic
- Bowser is annoyed that Junior always listens to Peach but not to him
- Bowser is upset that Peach refuses to flat-out say "I love you"

Idk, idk. I know how silly this is, but the Mario games are so aggressively wholesome that it amuses me to think of Bowser and Peach, who are both canonically selfish and awful people, being mean and shitty to one another off camera.

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